Pretty Girls Do Cry

She had spent the majority of her life holding back tears.  Her internal belief system said no to sadness and no to tears.  She remembers the pain in her throat and neck from holding in her grief, how she yearned to let it go, to be free from her own misery.  She hadn’t been taught how to cry in school, or at home come to think of it.  The closest she got to experiencing an adult cry was when her PHSE teacher talked of when her father was dying of cancer and the doctors had given him an extra dose of morphin to finish him off.  She felt no empathy, seeing her teacher cry felt alien to her, it was all very blase.  She often wondered what it felt like to take another life, to turn living matter to dust.  Why were young people today taking lives so readily?  Was it lack of empathy, like she had experienced as a teenager.  There for the grace of god; could she have taken another life so readily?  Potentially – yes, but because her family had clear boundaries and consequences for inappropriate behaviour she had been protected from a world of potential violence and she thanked her parents for that.  She’s still haunted today by her memories of impulsively slapping a girl in the eye, no reason, just slap.  In the face – the girl wore dark glasses for a week.  She did apologise and felt guilty for the rest of her life.  If you take a life do you feel guilty?  Are there too many sociopaths among us?  If there are, why?  She was left wondering when the violence will stop?

~ by girligorgeous on July 20, 2008.