Jung – BUY ME $ $ $

She had always found communicating difficult, as far back as she could remember.  Shrouded in her own world of silence as her only friends were the imaginary made up ones in her mind.  When she remembered  their grey  complexions and their goofy teeth she couldn’t remember if she had spoken to them aloud or in her mind.  She played with them frequently, bossing them around and telling them what to do.  Maybe they were the only ones who listened, who made her feel heard.  She heard her own children too much and sometimes it felt as though they wanted her to stop encouraging them to talk.  She transferred her own fears of not being understood or unable to express herself competently, on to her children and desperately wanted them to grow feeling heard and able to express who they truly were.  In the past she’d rather be silent than have to speak the horrible voice she had been given, even though she had been mocked for her silence and made to feel stupid.  She had felt stupid when she spoke and she cared what others thought of who she was, if she remained silent she could be a beautiful women.  When she spoke she became a stupid girl.  

 

She had spent most of the day trying to write but had been distracted in some way or another.  Each time she sat at the keyboard her concentration would weaken and her inspiration shrink.  And as the absence of her shrink was overbearing she looked forward to the moment in September when she would finally be back in the therapy room.  Her training as a psychoanalyst would continue only this time she would be there to learn about the psyches of others rather than her own.  No more losing control in group therapy for her.  She had explored her emotions in a public place and now wanted to explore the emotions of an other with ease.  She knew she had the insight and intuition needed to guide an other through their emotional entanglements and looked forward to the therapy room with Jung.

 

She was not a bored wealthy housewife like some of those she had trained with, her heart was wounded and her altruism deep.  Becoming a therapist was not easy for her and she would struggle her way to success.  She was passionate about psychology, psychiciatry, psychotherapy and the green room she longed for and one day she would give and in return she would feel loved, something that all the money in the world cannot buy.    

 

She said goodbye to the imaginary friends a long time ago but still their faces lingered on in the depths of her Self.

~ by girligorgeous on June 9, 2009.